Moving on....

  I wasn't sure how I was going to write about this, or...if, I would at all.
  To those who have been faithful readers, you know I've been going through "something" and there are others who know exactly what.  It's been a very emotionally draining past few years because we've been dealing with something very delicate...not in our family per se...but with a child from another.  This child, who isn't a little child anymore, has become as close to me as one of my own children and has been around our house almost as much.
     We have always raised our children to be that one person in the room to extend themselves to others in kindness and to be a voice for others when they have none. More than once my daughter has been the child, sometimes the only child, to tell others to back off when someone is being bullied or picked on.  She lives by the motto "A strong person speaks up for himself, but an even stronger one stands up for others."  She would tell you it's just a case of right and wrong plain and simple.
  My daughter is a very warm, loving person and she attracts some wonderful friends...we really enjoy her friends very much and love having them in our home.  Not quite 3 years ago, one of her dear friends let it slip that there was something going on at her house that wasn't right.....it was a brief exchange between my daughter and her friend that only lasted a few moments and then the subject was changed.
   My daughter came to me the next day....told me about the exchange...I was stunned to my very core.   She knew her friend needed help and to make a long story short....the next opportunity I had I spoke to the child in question and she confirmed our fears....she had endured 11 years of abuse at the hands of her stepfather, starting since the age of 6.  I won't go into the details of the abuse...we're all grown-ups here and I know none of you are stupid.   The worst part is ladies...the mother knew about it. Not once but twice she went to her mother for help....and got none.
    With my support, my daughter reported what she knew, against her friends wishes, because she loved this friend with everything she had and she didn't care if it would end up costing her their friendship...she just wanted to do the right thing. 
    I am going to skip a huge chunk of info here...I was on the witness stand on my Birthday....a Birthday is just a day afterall....my daughter fared very well....she proved herself to be a very strong young lady.  Her friend had to endure 3 days of testimony..which was so difficult for her I know. The trial was unusually long for a trial of this nature, I was told.
  I found out there had never been a case where so many family members knew about it and did nothing.   Can you imagine that? It took an outsider to bring this ugly truth to light...makes me sick...and so sad.

  We got the verdict by phone....guilty on 4 counts...imprisonment until sentencing in December.

  I believe God puts people in your life for a reason. God put these two girls together so one could help the other.  Through counseling-she has come to terms with what happened and has a new outlook on life...and is thriving...her mother is in complete denial and has abandoned her....I pity this woman.

I beg of you, if you ever think something isn't right..or hear that someone needs help-get involved.  Make a difference. Listen to your children, they can teach you a lot.

29 comments:

Liane said...

I am so proud of you and Kailei and thank God for His hand in this situation - he works out all things for good....'
Love you,
Lee

Becky K. said...

What a sad story. I am so thankful to hear that this young lady is healing. You have definitely done the right thing!

Hugs,

Tins and Treasures said...

Good Morning,
You have certainly had some emotional weeks there. The whole situation makes me sick, and it is even worse that the mom knew about it. I'm glad that you and your daughter were strong for this girl...and now what? She has been abandoned by her own mom?! It just goes from bad to worse. I will pray for her.

We had a situation like this in school just this week. Tuesday morning, 2 girls reported that their mom's boyfriend was abusing them...apparently she didn't know about it though. I don't know much more than that. The girl has been absent since.

Give Kailei a hug. Take care ~Natalie

Look beyond the picket fence said...

In a word, sad. No there has to be a stronger word than that! I hope the girl continues to thrive with the help of those who truly love her.
denise

Shelley said...

Thank God he put your sweet strong daughter in the life of this young lady....what you both did was so right....I pray that God heal this dear child from the inside out...
Blessings,Shelley

Rachel said...

Praise God for the advocacy of you and your daughter in this precious girl's life! Prayers.

BittersweetPunkin said...

Liane, your support throughout this has been so important to me and a comfort.

Thank you Becky, she is doing much better now.

Natalie, it takes a lot for a child to come forward...and when they do reveal what is happening...it's usually minimized out of fear and embarrassment.
Continue to pray for those girls...for strength.

Denise, she is doing well and now has the full support of her once estranged biological father.

Thank you Shelley, I think my daughter is pretty awesome too.

Vee said...

God bless you for being strong enough to stand in the gap for this young woman. May she walk in emotional healing from this day forward.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Wow! You were all so brave! I applaud you and I pray that the young girl will find healing, comfort, peace and forgiveness for what her Dad did.

twobarkingdogs said...

good for you and Kailei for doing the right thing, no matter how hard it was to do.

Donna said...

Thank you for raising your child to speak up and stand up when it is most difficult to do so. It took a huge amount of strength for you and her to pursue justice and to give this girl a chance at a better life. God bless you for coming forward, and I will be praying for the girl to get healing in the days ahead.

basketsbyrose said...

God bless you and your daughter for doing what is right. May this other little girl (young lady) get all the help she needs.

GARAGE SALE GAL said...

How awesome that you DID the RIGHT THING! May God Bless and Heal her and Bless you and your daughter for Doing the Right Thing!
Warmly,
deb

Shanda said...

Thank the Lord you and your daughter were placed in this little girls life. So sad for her situation.

Denise said...

Oh my...... I have known the heartbreak of such a thing as it happened in our family many years ago. The person involved never did recover and it took from her the life that she should have had. Both parties are gone now and she is free to be who the Father God created and one day I will be able to talk with her and experience the beautiful person that she really was.......

What a wonderful thing your daughter did....... Kudos!

FarmHouse Style said...

It is so difficult to risk yourself the way you and Kailei have done. Your bravery and compassion is truly inspirational. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that Kailei's friend can now begin to heal and flourish.

Rhonda

Brenda Eason said...

Praise God!!! It is a sick sad world. I know you heard me mention the abuse my gbaby had been through and three years of him still getting visits with her at his moms. The grand jury was coming up and he decided to sign his rights away!!! Guess what ? If he did this he had NO court and NO prison time...God help the children.

Diane Fay (littlealma) said...

Yes, I am so impressed!!! What a wonderful thing to be able to do - to stand up for this girl, and do what is right!!! May God richly bless you both!!!

Hugs from Michigan - Diane

Murfomurf said...

Good on you for supporting the good by reporting the bad- you have given your daughter a great model to follow. The young victim sounds strong, too- I'm sure she will do well in life as long as she doesn't encounter more people like her stepfather. Then it's up to her friends to help steer her away if she cannot do so herself. I am also known for "sticking my nose in"- let's keep it up- it works!

Terri said...

I can truly say I am so proud to be in your company. The world needs many more people like you. My motto is Care Enough to Confront.

Alison Gibbs said...

Thank goodness that you and your daughter were able to help this young girl.
Congratulations to you both.
Unbelievable that all in her family that knew - did nothing. Shame on them.
Alison

Suzanne said...

My heart and prayers go out to you, your daughter and her young friend. Your daughter needs to know a few things. First of all, victims of abuse only tell when they find someone they can trust and secondly, they choose someone who can do the thing that they cannot - to tell authorities. I'm glad that she's out of that home. At one time psychologists believed in keeping the family "together", having everyone go to therapy...blah. blah. I saw this train wreck in action and the one that suffered the most was again.... the young victim.

The daughter needs to be OUT, the mother also needs to be in jail as an accessory to this crime. I can tell you whatever issues this girl has with her stepfather, her issues with her mother (for not protecting her) are going to be a hundred times worse. It's going to take alot of therapy and alot of love and support from others for her to deal with this. Years..... years of therapy. Eleven years of abuse equals many years of therapy. You said that she's received some counseling. This is just the itp of the iceberg unfortunately but it's a good start.

You can believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason. I actually felt the hand of God pushing someone towards me and it was someone who also revealed this type of abuse.

You and your daughter need to know that you did the right thing. You did exactly what this young woman hoped (deep inside) that you would do.

Priscilla said...

Wow! I am so happy you and your family were able to help your friend! Such an emotional thing for you all to go through..Well done and I am happy it turned out as it did
xx Priscilla x

Sharon Lovejoy said...

I am covered with goosebumps and SO proud that you and yours took a stand (literally) and spoke out for someone. HOW COULD PEOPLE KNOW AND NOT HELP HER?????

Thank you for sharing this so forthrightly. Maybe it will help push someone over the edge to step up and help another.

Blessings,

Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island

Cindy B said...

I was a pediatric registered nurse for 24 years ...and have cared for victims of abuse as this...God bless you and your daughter for your courage and conviction in doing the right thing for this girl..you definitley have made a difference in her life. I have beeen witness on stands several times through my work..and I know this was not easy for anyone...but the end justifies the means. You freed her from a life of hELL. You have to wonder why a family allowed this!

Dena said...

Morning Robin,

There are so many situations in life that afford us the opportunity to help another person...and it is so often that people decide not to. For reasons often selfish in and of themselves, or because they are simply afraid to get involved. Thankfully Kailei and you are the exception. I am so glad that you were there for this young lady, and I will keep her and your family in my prayers.

Hugs,

Dena

Anonymous said...

I'M SO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE HELPED THIS YOUNG GIRL. 2 OR 3 OF MY OLDER SISTERS KNEW OF MY ABUSE FROM AN OLDER BROTHER & FAILED TO HELP ME. WHEN I TOLD MY MOTHER WHAT HAD HAPPENED MANY MANY YEARS LATER, I WAS BLAMED & TO THIS DAY MOST OF MY FAMILY LIVE IN VERY GREAT DENIAL, LEAVE ME OUT IN THE COLD, LIKE A BLACK SHEEP & ATTEND ALL OF MY ABUSERS FAMILY GET TOGETHERS etc. etc. VERY PAINFUL

Anonymous said...

I'M SO HAPPY THAT SOMEONE HELPED THIS YOUNG GIRL. 2 OR 3 OF MY OLDER SISTERS KNEW OF MY ABUSE FROM AN OLDER BROTHER & FAILED TO HELP ME. WHEN I TOLD MY MOTHER WHAT HAD HAPPENED MANY MANY YEARS LATER, I WAS BLAMED & TO THIS DAY MOST OF MY FAMILY LIVE IN VERY GREAT DENIAL, LEAVE ME OUT IN THE COLD, LIKE A BLACK SHEEP & ATTEND ALL OF MY ABUSERS FAMILY GET TOGETHERS etc. etc. VERY PAINFUL

Life on the Edge said...

I am so glad that this young girl have you and your daughter in her life! You did exactly the right thing. I once had to file a report against the father of a boy who used to come to our house. He had punched this boy in the face and his gut. I bawled as I called CPS, and then my son's friends got mad at me because the father got arrested! Still glad that I called and did what I could to protect this boy.

Sadly, what happened to this young lady is far more common than people like to think. I used to work as a chemical dependency counselor and one of my groups was for women. I cannot begin to tell you about my emotions on the day one of them told her story of being abused, and then several others followed suit. One woman had told her mother, only to have her mother smack her in the face. The scars from their abuses certainly played a part in their eventual drug and alcohol abuse. I hope this girl is getting some therapy.

Thank God for you and your daughter! If not, the abuse would be still continuing!

Kady
Life on the Edge